Beyond Repair

Wake up feel like hell
Look into the mirror
I just don’t look well
Death could it be getting nearer?
I need a placebo
Or at least some reassurance
I cant let it go
But I’m losing all endurance

What is this I see?
What is this I feel?
Did my mind play tricks on me?
Or this time could it be for real?
Suppose it is a warning
This one should I not ignore?
I pray I live ’till morning
But not in this state anymore!

If I’ve reached the point of no return
Lord, give me one more chance
In my mind these feelings churn
Diffusing into aimless dance
So I focus my concern
To sanity to spare
But will these thoughts forever burn?
Have I driven myself
…beyond repair?

One more cigarette
The price I pay
It’s too late I bet
I should have quit yesterday
My lungs just don’t feel right
Breathing is not so easy now
I wish I didn’t have a light
I wish I’d heeded to my vow

If I’ve reached the point of no return
Lord, give me one more chance
In my mind these feelings churn
Diffusing into aimless dance
So I focus my concern
To sanity to spare
But will these thoughts forever burn?
Have I driven myself
…beyond repair?

A chemical smell
To fight or flee?
I wish I could tell
Toxic, or is it just me?
I am getting dizzy
I knew I should have fled this place
I need to get busy
Lest I become a textbook case

If I’ve reached the point of no return
Lord, give me one more chance
In my mind these feelings churn
Diffusing into aimless dance
So I focus my concern
To sanity to spare
But will these thoughts forever burn?
Have I driven myself
…beyond repair?

If I need attention
Please comfort me for a while
If laughter’s the best medicine
Then teach me how to smile
If you meet me along the way
I’m sure I’ll find my place
For I can’t take another day
In a relentless cerebral race

If I’ve reached the point of no return
Lord, give me one more chance
In my mind these feelings churn
Diffusing into aimless dance
So I focus my concern
To sanity to spare
But will these thoughts forever burn?
Have I driven myself
…beyond repair?

© March 1994 — J. “Xakk” Marshall

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