whatareyouthinking

One night a boy overheard his parents argue over a pizza they had delivered.  His dad requested half pepperoni and half mushroom just as his mom suggested, but the pizzeria put both toppings on the same side.  Now his dad doesn’t like pepperoni, his mom doesn’t like mushrooms, and neither of them like plain pizza.

Thinking this would settle the dispute, the boy sneaked into the kitchen and began picking the pepperoni from one half of the pizza and placing them on the other.  But when his parents came into the room and saw him with their pizza, they scolded him and sent him to his room.  Eventually, they kicked him out of the house.

Tripp’s wife left the party for a moment to use the restroom.  Unbeknownst to her, she seated herself on a faulty toilet.  A crack was stemming from the base to the bowl and Tripp’s wife was no small woman.  Shortly thereafter, the toilet split and consequently pulled Tripp’s wife into an uncomfortable mess.  Fortunately, a well-prepared party guest was able to provide her with a quick change of clothes.

Once Tripp’s wife was all cleaned up and as good as new, she announced, “Toilets are bad.  I will not be using them anymore.”

Tripp had been wanting to move South for a long time and often tried to convince his family how much better such a move would be for all of them.  One weekend, he piled everyone in the car for a road trip.  After several hours of travel, Tripp’s family reached the exit for their future home town. 

Being unfamiliar with the territory, Tripp accidentally found himself in the right lane as he was nearing the end of the exit ramp.  He actually needed to make a left-hand turn.  So Tripp activated his left turn signal and surveyed the traffic situation behind him.  Someone slowed down their vehicle and waved to Tripp, motioning for him to enter the left lane. 

Tripp cheerfully accepted the offer as he announced to his family, “See, people are much nicer here.”