Archive for January, 2005


Posted in Parables on January 31st, 2005

One day, a boy planted birdseed in the family garden.  Each morning the boy faithfully walked to the garden to monitor progress, but didn’t find what he was looking for.  The nanny observed the boy’s strange fixation with the garden and asked the boy what he was doing.  He said, “I wanted to have a pet parakeet, so I planted some parakeet seed in the garden but for some reason I can’t get a parakeet to grow.”
“You stupid kid,” replied the nanny. “You forgot to water it.”


Posted in Tripp's Trips on January 31st, 2005

Tripp’s wife was complaining about a headache while her friends could clearly see that she had an arrow through her head.  They listened to her complaints and entertained many suggestions regarding the reason for her pain. Yet, none of them dared to mention the arrow.

The Carpenter and His Apprentices

Posted in Parables on January 31st, 2005

A carpenter provided each one of his apprentices with a set of tools that would enable them to make the same things they made while they were with him.  Then the carpenter left them with the tools. 

The apprentices responded in different ways.  Some continued to make good things, using the tools they were given in the same manner as the carpenter.  Other groups of apprentices realized the profit potential in using the tools to make things and devoted much time to peddling their goods.  Some decided not to use the tools in a constructive manner but to cause harm to others instead.  A vast number of apprentices refused to use any of the tools until the carpenter himself would return.  Finally, there were those who did not like the things the carpenter made so they refused the tools and the carpenter.  

‘The Three Little Pigs’ Revisited

Posted in Fractured Fairy Tales on January 31st, 2005

Resulting from their predecessors’ experiences, all three of these pigs chose to build their homes of brick right from the start.  Of course, that didn’t keep the Big Bad Wolf from taunting them.

The wolf approached the dwelling of the first pig.  He said something to the effect of, “I will huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll blow your house down!”

“Oh, no!  I’m not supposed to be bothered by these things anymore!  This is not fair!  What will I do?” exclaimed the first little pig.  So he frantically ran outside his home, headed toward the wolf, shouted some obscenities—and the Big Bad Wolf ate him.

The wolf came to the second pig’s home barking out a similar salutation.  Since he didn’t think the bricks were enough, this little piggy went to the market to purchase some goods.  He returned, built a fence around his house (complete with barbed wire and electric shock capacity), installed a security system, and never left his little home again.  So the Big Bad Wolf consumed him.

The third little pig was no less a victim of this predator’s intimidation tactics, but he remembered what his house was made of—so he oinked out a plan.  Safely from within his home, he watched the wolf through a window.  When the wolf fainted from all of the huffing, puffing, and blowing hot air, the pig tossed him off the lawn and enjoyed life again. 

Now every so often, the wolf returned with the hope of trapping and eating the third little pig.  Nevertheless, he knew what his house was built of, so the pig was always provided with a way to evade the perils of the Big Bad Wolf.           

Express Myself!

Posted in Fractured Fairy Tales on January 31st, 2005

Baby Bear had the opportunity to spend some time away from Mama Bear & Papa Bear, so he ventured into the woods.  He happened upon a porcupine and really liked the looks of his quills.  The porcupine gladly handed over a few of his extras so that Baby Bear could wear some quills too.  Then Baby Bear made friends with a raccoon and shortly thereafter insisted that he find himself a mask so that he could also wear one.  No sooner had he said goodbye to the raccoon when he had met up with a chicken.  As you may have guessed, he fell in love with the chicken’s feathers and began to wear some of his own.  On his way back to the cottage, he ran into Goldilocks. Sure enough, he asked Goldilocks if she’d be willing to bleach his coat blonde for him in exchange for a bowl of warm porridge.  Goldilocks agreed to the exchange.
Once Baby Bear had returned to the cottage, both Mama Bear & Papa Bear took notice of his new appearance and were quite displeased.  Mama Bear exclaimed, “What on earth were you thinking when you did all of this?”
Baby Bear [sheepishly] replied, “Mama, I just wanted to express myself!” 


Posted in Tripp's Trips on January 31st, 2005

One day Tripp went walking without his shoes and stepped in a pile of broken glass.  The doctor’s didn’t notice a piece that was still in his foot, so they stitched the wounds and sent him away.  Tripp’s foot ached for many years after that incident.  Sometimes an aspirin would help rid him of the pain for a while.  Other occasions required something different, or even stronger for him to obtain some relief.  And though the pain would leave his foot from time to time, the glass was still there.    

Bad Luck

Posted in Parables on January 31st, 2005

A man told his landlord about how anxious he was feeling.   
His landlord said, “I know why you are feeling anxious.  You left the door open to your house some time back.  A dog entered and hid a bad luck charm in your home.  Once you find the bad luck charm and remove it, you will not be anxious anymore.”
The man searched the living room and found a piece of a rock.  He asked his landlord, “Could this be the bad luck charm?”
“It could be,” the landlord replied.  “You should get rid of it.”  So the man removed the rock and felt better for a while, but his anxiety returned.  Therefore, he inquired of his landlord again. 
“He may have dropped off more than one bad luck charm,” his landlord offered.  “Once you find the others and remove them, all will go well for you.”
Eventually, the man removed everything from his home that appeared suspect to his landlord.  Yet he still felt anxious.
“It must be the items the bad luck charms came in contact with that are still causing your anxiety,” the landlord concluded.

The Beer Man

Posted in Parables on January 31st, 2005

After a stressful day of labor, a man decided to stop at the beer store to purchase some beverages.  He brought them home, drank a few, and felt a little better.  Ecstatic about his new discovery, he produced a series of audio and video media and began hosting lectures around the world concerning his better living through beer.  He was once quoted saying, “I did it—and I’m nobody special.  Therefore, you too can improve the quality of your life by drinking a few beers every day after work.”  Many bought into it, but few had the same experiences that he spoke of.

A Hair in the Soup

Posted in Parables on January 31st, 2005

A middle-aged, graying woman was in the midst of eating her soup when much to her disgust she noticed a thick, course hair in the bowl!  In the middle of this busy restaurant, she screamed, “There is a hair in my soup, I need the manager!”  Someone from the kitchen came running to her aid. 
“May I help you?” the gentleman asked as he approached her table.  The remainder of the restaurant staff and patrons became an attentive audience.
“There is a hair in my soup!” the woman screamed.  “Now I suggest you teach your staff how to properly run your business.  This is a disgrace!  There is nothing more repulsive than looking at a piece of someone’s filthy, greasy hair in a bowl of soup!  I refuse to pay for this garbage!”
The manager said, “I am sorry to see that you are unhappy.  There is no need for you to pay for the soup.”
Satisfied with the manager’s decision, the woman indignantly nodded her head with a quick jerk.  As she prepared herself to leave, the staff and patrons watched as yet another one of her course, gray hairs fell from her head, down toward the table, and into her bowl of soup.

The Party Spirit

Posted in Parables on January 31st, 2005

A couple went away for the weekend and entrusted their son with watching over their home.  Since their son wanted to impress his friends, he invited them to the house to party in his parent’s absense.  

As the party progressed, the situation became increasingly out of control.  By the time it was over, the property was severely damaged and many of the guests were harmed. 
The young man mused extensively over his predicament.  First, he thought there might be a way for him to cover up the whole event so that his parents would never find out about it.  After a time, he realized this was not possible. Next, he began to ponder a good defense for having such a party while glossing over the damages it caused.  Yet this brought no peace to his mind.  Then, he considered attempting to undo all the harm that was done to the home and compensating his friends for their injuries.  Still the task was too overwhelming.  He also considered making it up to his parents by doing everything he thought they would want him to do all of the time.  Nevertheless, he eventually realized that he was quite incapable of keeping such a commitment.

Finally, the young man thought about the character his father had demonstrated to himself and others in the past.  He knew his father cared for him and would not do anything unreasonable regardless of the magnitude of his error.  Therefore, when his parents came back home, he simply showed his father the condition of the house and admitted to all he was responsible for.  The damage was so extensive that he knew there was no way he could fix any of it on his own.  As a result, the boy depended solely on his father’s kindness to deliver him from the situation.